meme; timer
Nov. 16th, 2025 02:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
metropolising In our busy world, who has the energy to struggle through empty relationships? Wouldn't you rather have the certainty of knowing just who that just right someone is? Here at TiMER, we specialize in saving you the pain and hassle of hopeless relationships. For a nominal monthly fee, our special TiMER device will count down the days, hours and minutes between now and true love!
With a 98% satisfaction rate, we're certain you'll find completion.
1. IMPLANTATION. Congratulations on taking the first step! Installation can sting a little, but your TiMER is nearly indestructible and well worth the three to five days healing time.
2. WAITING GAME. Loneliness can be difficult. It's important to fill the time between now and true love with something. Macrame? Fencing? Relationships that aren't guaranteed to work?
3. THE DAY OF. It's here. Do you have nerves? Perfectly normal. Your TiMER finished it's countdown at 12:01 this morning, and now you just have to go about your day. Oh, the excitement is hard to bear! Keep your ears peeled for the sound of true love - it could happen anywhere in the next 24 hours.
4. BEEP BEEP. You've met them. That ringing in your wrist isn't just any sort of alert. Congratulations! Are they everything you ever dreamed of?
5. FOREVER AFTER. It's been some time since you've met eyes and found everything you could ever need. How was the first date? The wedding? The honeymoon? (We're proud to say that TiMER couples who choose to marry have a .43% divorce rate. How's that science for you?)
or maybe...
6. BLANK SCREEN. Oh! That's a disappointment. But don't worry -- there are over 18,000 TiMER stores in the United States alone. Your other half is certain to get one eventually.
7. NON-BELIEVER. You don't want a TiMER despite the countless happy couples, environmentally friendly company, and very successful advertising campaign. That's fine! There are plenty of people who are looking for an empty something while they whittle down the days to happiness. Probably. You like casual sex, right?
8. MIXED TO MATCH. One of you has a TiMER, the other doesn't. Can you work past that stress? It would take a strong heart to face down a time limit for their love.
9. LOSS. Here at TiMER, we understand just how awful it is to lose a soulmate. We offer complimentary uninstallation for TiMER owners who have lost their mate. That blank screen... it's really just a heavy reminder of your glory days, isn't it? The one might be gone, but it's important to find whatever sort of happiness there may be left.
10. OTHER. These are just some ideas to get you going. TiMER is only the platform from which you build a glorious existence, after all.
With a 98% satisfaction rate, we're certain you'll find completion.
1. IMPLANTATION. Congratulations on taking the first step! Installation can sting a little, but your TiMER is nearly indestructible and well worth the three to five days healing time.
2. WAITING GAME. Loneliness can be difficult. It's important to fill the time between now and true love with something. Macrame? Fencing? Relationships that aren't guaranteed to work?
3. THE DAY OF. It's here. Do you have nerves? Perfectly normal. Your TiMER finished it's countdown at 12:01 this morning, and now you just have to go about your day. Oh, the excitement is hard to bear! Keep your ears peeled for the sound of true love - it could happen anywhere in the next 24 hours.
4. BEEP BEEP. You've met them. That ringing in your wrist isn't just any sort of alert. Congratulations! Are they everything you ever dreamed of?
5. FOREVER AFTER. It's been some time since you've met eyes and found everything you could ever need. How was the first date? The wedding? The honeymoon? (We're proud to say that TiMER couples who choose to marry have a .43% divorce rate. How's that science for you?)
or maybe...
6. BLANK SCREEN. Oh! That's a disappointment. But don't worry -- there are over 18,000 TiMER stores in the United States alone. Your other half is certain to get one eventually.
7. NON-BELIEVER. You don't want a TiMER despite the countless happy couples, environmentally friendly company, and very successful advertising campaign. That's fine! There are plenty of people who are looking for an empty something while they whittle down the days to happiness. Probably. You like casual sex, right?
8. MIXED TO MATCH. One of you has a TiMER, the other doesn't. Can you work past that stress? It would take a strong heart to face down a time limit for their love.
9. LOSS. Here at TiMER, we understand just how awful it is to lose a soulmate. We offer complimentary uninstallation for TiMER owners who have lost their mate. That blank screen... it's really just a heavy reminder of your glory days, isn't it? The one might be gone, but it's important to find whatever sort of happiness there may be left.
10. OTHER. These are just some ideas to get you going. TiMER is only the platform from which you build a glorious existence, after all.
