meme; fail smut

[metropolising]

 

FAIL SMUT MEME It's time for everyone's worst nightmare. You're about to make the hanky panky with your boo but the unthinkable happens: y'all screw up. Like, you screw too I guess, but mostly you screw up. One of you gets hurt, you get stuck in your clothes, an interloper appears... Basically, no matter what you do, you can't get it on.

• BUT WHO WAS PHONE You're doing your best to spend some quality time together but something (or someone) keeps interrupting you. Someone has come to visit. Someone keeps calling you. A pet decides that right now is the perfect time for cuddles. • THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURTS You fell off the bed. Or hit your head. Or you've been trying out something kinky and found out you can't handle pain so that paddle hurts. Hope you don't have too bad an injury, pal. • I SWEAR THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE Whether this is an all-the-time problem or you just gave yourself a case of whiskey dick, you can't get in the mood. This goes for persons with bajingos as well - maybe you're just not feeling it no matter how hard you try. Maybe try again tomorrow? • SPANISH FLEA PLAYS IN THE BG Your friendly 'wow, what?' option. Call out the wrong name? Can't stop bickering and ruin the mood? The bed broke? You can't get your shirt off? Your underwire stabbed you in the boob? Someone called the cops? (In that case, we ARE the cops.) As always, these are just suggestions. Make up anything you want, as long as you're having fun!